Thanks to Erin Larson, The Reluctant Blogger, for this post!

Social media offers unlimited learning opportunities.  One such opportunity is the chance to make friends all over the world. This art of making friends online, I’m finding, is not unlike the process in the real world.  In fact, I equate it to Robert Fulghum’s advice in All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.

“Share everything.”

If you’re an expert in something, share your knowledge!  That’s what being an active member of these social networks is all about.

As Mr. Fulghum points out, “Every person passing through this life will unknowingly leave something and take something away. Most of this something cannot be seen or heard or numbered or scientifically detected or counted. It’s what we leave in the minds of other people and what they leave in ours. Memory.”

Sharing engaging content is a key step in an online friendship.  When you share something of value, an interested reader will “like” or “follow” or “subscribe” to get more from you.  If you continue to be a good sharer, this reader might turn into a true online friend who will stay interested long after retweeting your post or liking your update.

If you want to remain in someone’s memory for more than a fleeting second, you’d do well to provide a take-away.  When using social media for author marketing purposes, though, Dragos Roua cautions us to, “see the real person instead of the ‘social media benefit’ you may get out of contributing.”

“Clean up your own mess.”

Negative responses are part-and-parcel of social networks – we don’t always agree with each other, and social platforms are ideal for verbal confrontations.  Although no one wants to read something bad about themselves or their work, you can actually make these unfavorables work to your advantage in a “housecleaning” capacity.

As much as we’d love to sweep these negative remarks under our proverbial rugs, be sure to reply to them.  Addressing the negative can actually strengthen your online reputation.  Turn negative notes into positive participation by addressing them with transparency and authenticity.

Authors should look at these negative messages as opportunities to “clean house” – to clarify a confusion regarding their work, further explain a statement that caused consternation, or even openly apologize for a problem and offer a solution.  Discussing negative feedback can foster loyalty by showing your followers that you have nothing to hide and that your attention to readers is genuine.

(On a related note: Reply to all comments!  I constantly read others’ blogs and comment to ask follow-ups to glean as much from these experts as I can, and I’m surprised at how few actually reply.  How do you feel when someone ignores you in the real world?  After a while, you stop trying.  Make sure that you’re continuing the conversation.)

“Don’t take things that aren’t yours.”

This elemental step in making friends is, essentially, about trust.  We aren’t likely to stay friends with someone who takes our stuff – they’re just not trustworthy.

We have to earn trust.  Just like in the real world, we want to trust that our cyberspace interactions are genuine.  We want to trust that we really know our online friends.  We want to trust that there’s a real person behind the Facebook avatar or Twitter profile.

Much of real-life conversation is in how something’s said, not just what is said.  Online exchanges can’t account for nuances like body language, inflection, and eye contact (or avoidance).  All the more reason for needing to trust our online friends!

Joe Soto names three essential elements in establishing trust in the social media realm:

1. providing real value;
2. nurturing relationships through ongoing interaction; and
3. engaging your audience about topics that interest them.

From a business perspective, earning the trust of your online friends can mean the difference between people who simply inquire about your work and actual customers who purchase from you repeatedly.  Trust can also solidify your online reputation as more and more friends begin to agree with just how trustworthy you are.

“When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.”

Social networks enable connections with virtually anyone, anywhere.  It’s very easy to establish these connections – with a simple click of the mouse, they declare themselves your friend.  In my estimation, Facebook created a conundrum by using the term “Friend.”  Although the creators initially created a platform for real-life bosom buddies to sync up, their chosen descriptor is no longer accurate.

But it is possible to establish online friendships that endure.  The key is patience.  Solidifying friendships takes time, regardless of the sphere.  A real friendship doesn’t always evolve easily.  It’s a process that goes through several phases before it can really be called a “friendship.”

Remember, we’re all in this together.  Our online friends become our megaphones, transmitting our messages to a potentially worldwide audience.  So take the first step and initiate a dialogue – find out who’s ready to become your friend.

Erin Larson is “The Reluctant Blogger” for her friends at Socialot, the one-stop social media management solution for small- and medium-sized businesses.  She investigates the best practices of social media from the perspective of a new user.  She’s always looking for input or questions to investigate!